Welcome.
Gimme the money. Hurry up!
Cut!
-Hey! -Yes?
-What is this?! -He's trying.
It's nothing like the original.
I'll talk to him.
Director coming.
The writer will be furious!
Can't you be a little more "whoa-whoa-whoa"?!
He's pointing a knife at you.
In the comic, the thief vroooms in, and it's vrammm!
-Haven't you read it? -I read them all.
Why can't you do it?
Sorry.
You were great. Why apologize?
We're a duo.
You're a duo? Who cares?!
Do it properly!
We're losing daylight!
HIBANA - Spark -
I was thinking of you No text message would do
So I wrote you a letter I thought you'd like it better
FALL, 2002
I wrote you a letter I thought you'd like it better
But you thought I was creepy
You thought I was creepy
You were on my mind All of the time
I wondered what I could do To give these feelings to you
So I bought a guitar And I chose my clothes
It took me all night long But I wrote you a love song
I wrote you a love song What could go wrong?
You thought I was creepy
Welcome!
Can I have a Shochu-Oolong and...
a skewer set.
Please eat this.
Thanks, as always.
Thanks.
I think it's time we put an end to this.
But...
Don't say that.
I really don't like this.
No matter what?
Sorry.
I see.
Here's your Shochu-Oolong.
But, I think...
It's a good story.
When you're a big star,
you can tell everyone how you asked people to be a fake audience.
Good point.
Um...
Are we...
We're friends, right?
Yes.
I mean... Sorry.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Friends. -Friends.
STAFF WANTED
Part-time?
Yes.
You are.
You are?
I'm here for an interview.
How old are you?
I'm 23.
So I'm younger than you.
But I've been here longer. I'm your superior. Get it?
Yes.
Yes, I understand.
I understand.
-Be cool. -Thank you.
-What's your name? -I'm Tokunaga.
For part-timers, the late shift's better than the day one.
It is?
May I ask why?
A 100 yen per hour difference.
So, 700 yen becomes 800 yen.
Sounds good.
See how it's better?
-I'll do the late shift. -Good idea.
We'll be together.
On the late shift?
The late shift.
The late shift...
-What? -Thank you.
Thanks for filling me in.
Sorry.
The manager's a real tight-ass.
He is?
Did something happen?
When the money doesn't add up, he gets a bit anal.
Really anal.
And don't leave your stuff in the staff room.
Like, your wallet.
Really?
Sato, your break's over. It ended three minutes ago.
I'm going.
Sorry about the wait.
Let's look at your résumé.
"Hyuga Agency"?
It's a talent agency.
-You're an actor? -I'm a comedian.
A comedian...
-That must be tough. -It is.
Only a few can make ends meet.
That's true.
It's great to follow your dream, but aren't your parents worried?
I guess...
You have to face reality.
You don't approve?
I admit that I trouble my parents and make them worry, but...
Sorry, that was uncalled for. I mean...
I was an actor myself.
I quit when I became a dad.
But that's why...
I understand what you're going through. That's why...
No, it's my fault. I'm sorry.
-Sorry. -Forget about it.
Oh, you do manzai?
What kind?
What type of manzai is it?
Well...
We don't suck up to the audience.
You get the laughs?
Yes. Quite a lot.
Wow. That's great.
Can you start next week?
I can.
I'll contact you when I've made the schedule.
Thank you.
-Tokunaga. -Yes?
You might not like this, but there will be girls tonight.
A little bro from my agency thought he'd do us a favor.
Okay.
-For real? -I swear!
It became the most popular menu ever.
-It sounds gross. -But I swear it tastes great!
Are you okay?
Sorry, I have to go to the toilet.
Me, too.
You making it my lucky night?
No, we're not.
If you don't hurry back, there'll be trouble.
That's assault.
Hugging them is okay. Making them squeeze you isn't.
You're getting turned on.
Oh, you're doing the squeezing now.
Sorry.
I think you can get the girl next to you.
You think so?
Not your type?
I didn't come for the girls. I came for Mr. Kamiya's company.
Mr. Tokunaga, you sure are different.
A little strange, in fact.
Just like Mr. Kamiya said.
Tokunaga is back!
It's time to change seats.
Mai-chan and Haruko-chan, swap!
-Sure. -Sure.
I'll go there.
Where are you sitting?!
Why?
What's he doing?
It's okay. You sit there.
Did I offend him or something?
It's like he's still in junior high.
I know what you mean.
You're just shy, right?
Don't be fooled. He's a serial eavesdropper.
Right?
Yep.
What a weirdo!
Creepy.
Does he bug people's rooms?
He doesn't use bugs or wires.
What does he do?
He roams the streets at night.
When he hears a girl moaning, he goes and listens.
He's a pervert.
He stayed outside one house listening for 20 minutes.
-He's a total creeper. -Definitely a creeper.
Does that turn you on?
Yes.
The subject emits the sound without intending it to be heard by a third party.
Theoretically, one shouldn't hear it.
He sounds like a professor.
"Theoretically, one shouldn't hear it."
He sounds like a professor, but his T-shirt says "Pops."
It's cute!
Just hide it.
-His cardigan's skintight! -Totally skintight!
Why hide it? Show us your "Pops."
It's so tight, he can't do the buttons up.
How did you end up with that? It's too small!
He took it off!
"Pops" is back!
So...
Do you think we might meet again?
That's not why I came.
I see.
-Thanks for dinner. -It was nothing.
Thank you.
-Could we take a photo? -Okay.
-Me, too! -Photo time!
-May I join in? -Let's take one all together.
-I'll take it. -Thank you.
Squeeze in.
-Three, two, one... -Say something funny.
I got nothing.
It's out of focus!
-Take one more? -Yes, please.
-Eavesdropping again tonight? -Please don't say things like that.
-But they laughed. -At me, not with me.
"Don't be laughed at. You gotta make 'em laugh!"
That big brother advice should've stayed backstage.
It's a shame those words became so well-known.
Now the public's wised up, we can't play the fool so easily.
Audiences think: "That guy's just pretending to be stupid."
But they were better off ignorant.
So now we are judged by a new set of standards.
It was fine when they simply thought, "That guy's stupid!" and laughed.
Now we have an audience aware they're being made to laugh.
What a shame.
But won't new standards force us to be more creative?
There's some truth to that.
But it's like too many colors have been painted on top of a masterpiece.
Now everyone's completely lost.
As for you...
You haven't even realized you're funny.
That's perfect.
You're saying I'm an idiot.
Shut up.
Mr. Kamiya.
You and Ms. Maki are a couple, aren't you?
Nope.
She just lets me live there.
I thought she was your girlfriend.
You did, huh?
Don't you like her?
You remind me of my days back at school.
If I went to college, I'd still be in my 4th year.
If you say so.
But...
I don't pay any rent.
And she does a lot for me, so I want to do right by her.
But try going out with me for real. It'd be hell.
-You're right. -You're supposed to contradict me!
Maki...
Every time I tell her I'm going somewhere with you,
she gives me money.
So, as far as she knows, I go out with you every day.
Ms. Maki...
Is it true that she works at a hostess bar?
After I moved in, she quit her karaoke job and started working nights.
Doesn't she want to be official?
She's hinted at it a few times.
I told her to go find a proper boyfriend.
What did she say?
"Got it."
That doesn't sound right.
We should be like everyone else?
-No, but simplicity is important. -I don't need simplicity.
"Eccentricity" and "talent" are two different things.
-But abnormality rules. -Wrong again.
Why?
-Mr. Kamiya's abnormality is a talent. -You're not him.
I'm not!
I'm too clumsy.
Then make clumsiness your selling point.
-Too clumsy to sell your clumsiness? -What are you, then?
-What do you mean? -Whatever.
Why do you guys get so annoying?
We're having an important discussion about Sparks.
It's not Toku-chan and me here. It's Sparks.
We're having a very important discussion.
Stir this.
Make up your mind.
It should be on soon.
Yurie, it's time.
Mya-Mya.
-Mya-Mya, it's on. -She responds to "Mya-Mya"?
We're celebrating tonight. Let's enjoy it.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
She's in our agency.
Reika Kuraki. Know her?
Nope.
The girl whose tits you squeezed.
What?
When can I see Daddy?
Gimme the money. Hurry up!
Take it all. Help.
And a corn dog.
A corn dog!
Ketchup? Need any ketchup?
-No! -No ketchup?
-Meatball? -Meatball? No!
Maiko!
Our roles got switched.
I was the cashier, and Tokunaga was a customer.
Maiko!
What happened?
I got cut.
What a crap TV show!
But, hey. You were on TV.
That's a great achievement for Sparks.
Isn't that amazing?
You're right.
Toku-chan, I'll make some for you.
What do you want?
We've got tuna. And shrimp.
Salmon... Whatever you want.
Cucumber.
Cucumber?
-Just cucumber? -Just cucumber.
Make it for him!
-Here you go. -Thanks.
Did you record it?
Yep.
You did? Let's watch it later.
Tokky, serve the customers.
"Tokky"? Is that me?
See anybody else?
-Hurry up. -Sorry about the wait.
You want more?
"Bandit Chicken."
-Want some? -Yeah.
Two of those.
Mr. Sato, I'm sorry. Bandit Chicken...
Which button is it?
Sorry.
Thank you.
I taught you the other day.
Once should be enough.
Hurry up.
You forgot?
Sorry.
If you can't remember, why not take notes?
-We're in a rush. -Okay.
Get the chicken.
This is the last time, so listen. Press "Blanker."
Then the number of pieces--
-Hey. Teach him later. -Got it?
-Hurry up. -Sorry.
That's a total of 1,366 yen.
Your 634 yen change.
Shall I separate the warm things?
No, this'll do.
Tokky, don't make them wait.
It was your fault.
Don't do it. Let's go.
Come on.
Let's go.
Tokky.
With your slowness, I'm worried for your future.
You earn 600 yen an hour.
Yes.
Hello?
Excuse me.
You're from Sparks...
-Tokunaga. -You're Tokunaga, right?
-I saw you at the show in Shibuya. -Thank you.
Keep up the good work.
-Thanks. -Tokunaga from Sparks!
The one without the moles.
-No charisma whatsoever! -So normal.
Oops. Hello?
It's the name of my duo. "Sparks."
I didn't tell you?
I'm a comedian.
You're doing something, huh?
I've done a lot myself.
...all of those missing have been found.
In breaking news...
We regret to report the death of a manzai legend:
Hironobu Shinohara, better known as "Itoshi Yumeji"
from the manzai duo "Itoshi Yumeji & Koishi Kimi."
Gaining popularity with their conversation-style act,
they were lovingly called "Itokoi."
He passed away on the 25th at 12:35 a.m.
The cause of death was pneumonia.
He was in a Kobe hospital at the time.
He was 78 years old.
-What's your favorite food? -I've only got one.
-What is it? -Hot pots.
-Eh? -Hot pots...
You eat hot pots?
-I love hot pots. -You must have very strong teeth.
Which are easier to chew? Steel or ceramic?
I don't eat the pot. I eat what goes inside.
What goes inside? You should've said so first.
-I thought you ate the pot itself. -Of course I don't.
-What do you put in? -There are many famous recipes.
-The most popular is chicken. -Chicken hot pot?
And chanko hot pot.
-Wild boar hot pot. -Not-hot hot pot?
-I've never heard of a "Not-hot hot pot." -Never run out of gas on your cooker?
-Which is the most popular? -In most households, chicken...
Itokoi really is funny.
"You know, when it comes to food,
people can be quite fussy."
"Of course, we all have different tastes."
"You and I,
we're quite fussy."
"Our tastes are quite different."
"For example,
when I order a juicy steak,
you order dry sardines.
When I order a premium eel,
you order a pickled plum."
"You sure dine well."
"People do have different tastes."
"They sure do."
"I love them!"
"You must have strong teeth.
Which are easier to chew?
Steel hot pots or ceramic hot pots?"
"I don't eat the pot. I eat what goes inside."
"What goes inside? You should've said so first.
I thought
you ate the pot itself."
"Of course I don't. I mean what's inside."
Why isn't he here?
Why are you late?
You called me out of the blue. Stop complaining.
Let's go.
I need to wash my hands.
Why now?
-This is cold. -Where'd you get that fashion sense?
I was just chilling at home.
My hands are wet.
I need to piss.
Do it at home!
I need to go now.
Asshole.
-Hey, you, pull over. -Damn, it's a motorcycle cop.
-Quit doing Guess-Which-Hand. -I'm not doing that.
What's illegal about it anyway?
-Guess which hands holds amphetamines. -You're scary.
The cop says something. Come on.
-Hey, you, pull over. -Damn, it's a motorcycle cop.
Come to a stop!
Say something!
You're too fast.
The whole time.
-I gave it a nice tempo. -And stop scratching your dick.
-What's with that? -It was in the wrong place.
And listen to my words before you respond.
We've done this act so many times, I can't.
Stop that!
Dumbass.
I know it's important we practice, but I have plans, too.
Say so before you come!
I'm going to the toilet.
I can't take it anymore.
I think I'm going to punch him.
If you punch him, you'll break up. No punching.
But, I mean...
He's so annoying.
When your practice is done, come over.
Let's have dinner.
What's your favorite food?
Korean style BBQ.
Wrong.
Tell me.
What is your favorite food?
I'm asking you:
What is your favorite food?
Today is a special day, right?
I like hot pots.
Hot pots?
Yes, hot pots.
You eat hot pots?
You must have strong teeth.
That's not what I mean.
Which are easier to chew?
Steel hot pots, or ceramic hot pots?
I eat hot pots, but I don't mean the hot pot itself.
You said you eat hot pots.
No, I mean...
Um...
I eat what goes inside the hot pots.
You mean "hot pot cuisine"?
Correct.
Okay, I'll buy some cow beef.
All beef comes from cows! You are silly.
That act is hard.
It sure is.
I need to make three apologies.
The first is:
Sorry for implying I have better things to do than practice.
The second is:
Sorry for dissing the act, even though I never write.
The third is:
The third...
What is it?
What was it?
What was the third one?
What was that third one?
HYUGA AGENCY
Hello.
-Hello! -Hello!
Perfect timing. Let me introduce you.
They've just signed up with us. They are Buu...
-I'm Buu Fubuubu's Yuki. -I'm Kunitsu.
They are.
-I'm Spark's Tokunaga. -I'm Yamashita.
-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
We really like your manzai. We see you all the time.
Really? Which act do you like?
The one where you produce a funeral.
-We love that one. -Yes.
We would appreciate your advice.
-No problem. -Really?
If you have the time...
It's on tonight.
-Ahondara will play, too. -They will.
Mr. Tokunaga, I hear you're close with Mr. Kamiya.
Well, yeah.
-It's an honor to meet you. -It's an honor to meet you.
The pleasure's ours.
We must head to the theater now.
-Excuse us. -Excuse us.
We look forward to working with you.
-Good luck. -Yessir!
-Let's do our best! -I'll call you if something pops up.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
-Go get 'em tonight. -We shall!
-I can't make it. -You can't?
-Excuse us. -Excuse us.
-Bye, guys. -See ya.
They're already planning to do a solo show with us.
They move fast. That's what you call experience.
Now I'm in charge of comedians, too.
Our agency's putting more focus on comedy.
You are?
I saw you on TV.
Tokunaga's scenes got cut.
Sorry.
Yamashita did good enough for you both.
Thank you.
Yamashita, you won the part you auditioned for the other day.
-I just got the call. -Really?
What audition?
He didn't tell you?
No.
That director the other day liked Yamashita.
He'll do a pretty big film soon.
Why didn't you tell me?
It's not a job as a comedian.
Had you already had the audition when we last practiced?
I feel like an idiot.
Exposure as an actor will give us more work.
Hey.
Didn't you give your soul to manzai?
Huh?
Isn't practice important?!
It is.
Have you no faith?
Can you guarantee we'll hit the big time?
This is a chance, too!
And...
since we're taking so long to make it big, Yurie's dad is stressing us out.
Do whatever you want.
Will your dad be okay?
Well, he's still alive.
But he won't make a full recovery.
They said he probably won't work again.
Mr. Tokunaga...
I owe you a lot.
Not at all.
Thanks.
Here'll do.
No, I'll see you off.
It's okay.
The bus won't leave for a while.
But...
It's kinda tough to be seen off.
So, here'll do.
Thanks.
I think...
I hope you continue playing music back home.
I mean, as long as there's a street, you can do a show.
We have streets back home...
but there's no people.
We have lots of cows.
And...
chickens.
Can I ask you a favor?
Could you sing one last song for me?
Let's whistle as we walk
Dear friend You look like you're feeling down
We all go through hard times
But the stars are shining high in the sky
Do you remember that old park?
Why don't we go there?
We might remember something
Something we've been forgetting recently
What did we have back then?
We had no responsibilities
We were overflowing with dreams
We had so much time On our hands
Let's whistle as we walk
Dear me You look like you're feeling down
I hear a guitar playing in the distance
It's slowly rising into the sky
At the bottom of my heart
They are still making noise
Those feelings inside
Nothing inside has changed
Here we are today
We bow to people
We put on a smile
As we shed invisible tears
Let's whistle as we walk
Dear friend You look like you're feeling down
I guess there's nobody to blame
That's just the way it is
Let's whistle as we walk
The stars are shining high in the sky
-One ticket, please. -Two-thousand yen... Huh?
Mr. Tokunaga, from Sparks?
-Go in. It's started. -Take it.
-Mr. Tokunaga! -You came.
Thank you.
We're on next.
And take us to dinner sometime!
-It was once inhabited by Vikings. -"No way."
-It has a long, rich history of skiing. -"No way."
-Its fjords truly are beautiful. -"No way."
You're talking about Norway! That makes more sense.
-Yeah. I told you to say, "Norway." -I thought you said, "No way."
-Next up-- -There's more?
Answer every question with:
-"Sweet and sour pork." -Why am I doing this?
-Are you ready to order? -"Sweet and sour pork."
-Would you like dessert? -"Sweet and sour pork."
-We're closing soon. -"Sweet and sour pork."
-We'll run out of pork! -It's your fault!
-You like it that much? -I do, actually!
-Next up-- -Why strip that off now?
-Answer everything with "Clap your hands." -I don't want to.
-If you're happy and you know it? -"Clap your hands."
-If you're happy and you know it? -"Then you really ought to show it..."